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search fail again: where are the quotes?
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Old 2nd December 2008, 20:10   #1
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Default search fail again: where are the quotes?

We had like 100 super quotes somewhere on the forum.
If i remember correctly they where at the bottom of the forum ... rotating on refresh.

Where are they?

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
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Old 2nd December 2008, 20:22   #2
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They are already quit some time gone

Perhaps John still has them, stored in a table.
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Old 2nd December 2008, 21:56   #3
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wow, those date back from before vBulletin 3, vB2 had them in a plugin, but didn't transfer them to vB3 as it was a custom hack not available for vB3.

but... I found them

Total quotes in database: 193
Quote Artist Submitted By
'cause everything is nothing, and emptiness is in everything Papa Roach <B>
Vriendelijke woorden zijn soms kort, maar hun echo sterft nooit uit AchMalAch
Logica brengt je van A naar B, maar de verbeelding brengt je overal. AchMalAch
Vetzakken! Stop met die vetzakkerij! Ge zijt zelf ne vetzak ! PeulengaleiS Anthroplast
In the early days, men where made out of iron and boats where made out of wood nowadays, boats are made out of iron and men are made out off wood biCker biCker
They don't know that we know they know we know! Phoebe Bieke
De enige dromen van waarde zijn die welke door de werkelijkheid ontoereikend zijn gemaakt No idea Bieke
Trust in God, but lock your car! Unknown BlaCkBirD
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs B Bosw8er
Honnestly. It's like shooting a fish in a barrel. Twice. With an Elephant Gun. At point blank range. In the head. BOFH Bosw8er
Quand on parle science, il faut se servir des mots techniques. B Bosw8er
In der Beschrenkung zeigt sich der Meister. B Bosw8er
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. Woody Allen Bosw8er
Friends come and go,stay true to yourself! Stevie Williams B|oweFish
Skateboarding is a feeling. R. Oyola B|oweFish
Only death is real. Hellhammer calantak
The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity." patrick murray calantak
"A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." woody allen calantak
My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself anonymous necrophiliac calantak
Like most men, I am consumed with desire whenever a lesbian gets within twenty feet anonymous calantak
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy unknown calantak
richbastard gets his quotes from google query : funny quotes, that's where I get them too. calantak
Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol NF Simpson. Celest
Time's fun when you're having flies. Kermit The Frog ChAoS Overlord
Every time I get in touch with my feminine side, I feel like a lesbian. Myself! (Own quote) ChAoS Overlord
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. The usual suspects Corax
If I were a girl, every time, I went to the gynecologist, I'd fake an orgasm Mark Hoppus from Blink 182 cR00zIFI><3r
Nihil sine labore Niets zonder werk Horatius cR00zIFI><3r
Dura lex, sed lex een harde wet, maar een wet Terentius cR00zIFI><3r
Marriage is like a tornado first there's a lot of sucking and blowing, and then you loose your house The Wife ctgilles
Diplomacy: To tell a person to go to hell in such a way that he looks forward to the trip!!! D@ Hitch D@ Hitch
We live in a dangerous Age. To say how you feel is to lay your own grave Didimododi didimododi
I live my live per quarter mile and in that ten seconds or less, i'm free don (fast and the furious) didimododi
Heb jij wel eens iemand dood gemaakt met een blije mus ? Driez Driez
Be alert ! Your country needs lerts ! Drydope Drydope
There are 3 kinds of people , the ones who can count and the ones who can't Drydope Drydope
life is hard, and then you die. Kill some ppl when you die, so you don't die lonely DUR0N DUR0N
Ah, this world is for suckers, i'm outtha here some dude from grim fandango DUR0N
I don't believe in an eye for an eye law. If somebody takes out my eye, i take both of his eyes. unknown DUR0N
I never forget faces, but in your case I will make an exception Groucho Marx DyNaRaX
IF you found all the answers to your questions, It's time to find more questions. dunno (me?) FreeStyler
If you're going to walk on this ice, you may as well dance. Unknown IKilledMyAGOIA
Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own inner opinion. Thoreau IKilledMyAGOIA
What a man thinks of himself, that is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate. Thoreau IKilledMyAGOIA
Sex is not the answer, sex is the question. Yes is the answer. dinges jakkerd
stopped smokin weed for a month and all my memories came back. Then I realized why I'd started weed Krusty The Clown jASjE
"I can resist everything except temptation." Oscar Wilde jASjE
Fighting for peace is like ****ing for virginity.. Unknown jASjE
There's nothing worse in life than being ordinary Mena Suvari in "American Beauty" jASjE
It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Lestern Burnham in "American Beauty" jASjE
I liek milk! Milk-dude Jay-Jay
Het leven is te kort om te discussiŽren, dus heb ik altijd gelijk. JMke jmke
Afgelopen jaar stonden we aan de rand van de afgrond maar sindsdien hebben we een grote stap voorwaarts gemaakt! Manager jmke
Ga bij het leger, reis naar verre landen, ontmoet interessante mensen, vermoord ze Anon jmke
Ik mis mijn ex nog steeds, maar het is er niet meer zo ver naast Anon jmke
Ik kna 300 woodren pre mniuut tpynen Anon jmke
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man Jack Handy jmke
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby." Jack Handy jmke
I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away Jack Handy jmke
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind Jack Handy jmke
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face Jack Handy jmke
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward Jack Handy jmke
"Ping" is the begin of all replies JMke jmke
To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other Jack Handy jmke
To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad Jack Handy jmke
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing. Jack Handy jmke
Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see. Jack Handy jmke
If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you. Jack Handy jmke
Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling Jack Handy jmke
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny Jack Handy jmke
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex. Jack Handy jmke
If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them. Jack Handy jmke
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. Jack Handy jmke
"Chess is mental torture." Garry Kasparov jmke
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized Fred Allen jmke
My toughest fight was with my first wife. Muhammad Ali jmke
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee Muhammad Ali jmke
There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people Muhammad Ali jmke
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life. Muhammad Ali jmke
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done Fred Allen jmke
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank Woody Allen jmke
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me Woody Allen jmke
It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen jmke
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more Woody Allen jmke
High thoughts must have high language Aristophanes jmke
You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner. Aristophanes jmke
Under every stone lurks a politician. Aristophanes jmke
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Aristotle jmke
We are what we repeatedly do Aristotle jmke
All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind Aristotle jmke
Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. Aristotle jmke
Liars when they speak the truth are not believed. Aristotles jmke
All men by nature desire knowledge Aristotle jmke
We make war that we may live in peace Aristotle jmke
Well begun is half done Aristotle jmke
Evil draws men together Aristotle jmke
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them Isaac Asimov jmke
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that , is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) Isaac Asimov jmke
Knowledge itself is power Sir Francis Bacon jmke
Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form Karl Marx jmke
Last words are for fools who haven't said enough Karl Marx jmke
A lie told often enough becomes the truth Lenin jmke
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans John Lennon jmke
It is well that war is so terrible, or we should get too fond of it. Robert E. Lee jmke
Poor is the man whose pleasures depend Madonna jmke
If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us tickets Mel Brooks jmke
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby jmke
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby jmke
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me. John Cleese jmke
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them George Bush jmke
It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it George W Bush jmke
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? George W Bush jmke
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case. George W Bush jmke
Men willingly believe what they wish Julius Caesar jmke
Veni, vidi, vici. Julius Caesar jmke
In the end, everything is a gag. Charlie Chaplin jmke
All I need to make a comedy is a park a policeman and a pretty girl Charlie Chaplin jmke
I remain just one thing, and one thing only - and that is a clown It places me on a far higher plane than any politician. Charlie Chaplin jmke
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates jmke
The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates jmke
Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat. Socrates jmke
Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods Socrates jmke
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance Socrates jmke
If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score? Vince Lombardi jmke
the most mmorpg im looking forward to is SWG so you can be a loser in a galaxy far far away? QDB jmke
metallica is a terrible mix of heavy metal and country Garrincha jmke
hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is. Erno jmke
Girls are like internet domain names, the ones I like are already taken. well, you can stil get one from a strange country :-P QDB jmke
what the **** is wtf QDB jmke
I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals. QDB jmke
wie wind zaait , ... ... moet later nie zagen dat het stinkt kipni kipni
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg! Bjarne Stroustrup Kmeleon
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Thomas Alva Edison Kmeleon
Evil always triumphs over good, because good is dumb dark helmet/spaceballs kr15t0f
**** a duck and try to fly playboy PlayboY
The only thing we have to fear is humanity.... ...and all the psycho's out there! psychoduck psychoduck
The only thing we have to fear is humanity.... ...and all the psycho's out there! psychoduck psychoduck
Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus! Bob Rubin RichBa5tard
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy. Anon RichBa5tard
My girlfiend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine' Anon RichBa5tard
My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. Woody Allen RichBa5tard
My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often. Emo Philips RichBa5tard
I don't have any prejudices. I hate everybody. Senti Senti
Never ever underestimate the danger of large amounts of STUPID people Senti Senti
"We must view with profound respect the infinite capacity of the human mind to resist the introducti Thomas Lounsbury, American Scholar and Educator septimus
Bloedtransfusie: de saaiste manier om Aids te krijgen stronken stronken
Allochtoon: woord dat we gebruiken om over een grote sterke neger te spreken als hij naast ons staat. stronken stronken
Impotentie: fout die niet meer kan worden rechtgezet stronken stronken
Parkinheimer: ziekte waarbij men vergeet te trillen stronken stronken
Cultuur is enkel een laagje vernis over ons dierlijk gedrag Stryker Stryker
Nothing happens, untill something moves Einstein Stryker
Is life worth to live or should I blast mysself? 2pac TeuS
liefde is blind, lingerie is braille the maniak
Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code the maniak
There are only 10 types of people in the world : Those who understand binary and those who don't unknown the maniak
U can close your eyes for facts, but not for memories don't know the maniak
I like garbage...... no, no, no, the band you silly! Slider tom
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. Thomas Jones Unregistered
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. Artist... Unregistered
I'd like to see a nude opera,because when they hit those really high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals. Jack Handy Unregistered
Living in a vacuum sucks Adrienne E. Gusoff Unregistered
Crime does not pay... as well as politics. Alfred E. Newman Unregistered
If it's not on fire then it's a software problem. anonymous Unregistered
Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it. Dave Barry, Get With The Program Unregistered
Megahertz: This is really, really big hertz. Dave Barry, Get With The Program Unregistered
RAM: This gives guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest memory. That's important, because the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages. Dave Barry, Get With The Program Unregistered
Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk? anonymous Unregistered
Computers are like air conditioners, they stop working properly if you open Windows. dunno Unregistered
What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home. Ken Hammond Unregistered
if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it's yours. if it doesn't, it never was DMX vegeta
The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past while every sinner has a future Oscar Wilde Zinzin
A true friend stabs you in the front Oscar Wilde Zinzin
The old believe everything, the middle- aged suspect everything, the young know everything Oscar Wilde Zinzin
The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything - except what is worth knowing Oscar Wilde Zinzin
A man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies Oscar Wilde Zinzin
To lose one parent may be regarded as misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness Oscar Wilde Zinzin
A gentleman is one who never hurt's anyone's feelings unintentionally Oscar Wilde Zinzin
Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat Oscar Wilde Zinzin
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. Oscar Wilde Zinzin
Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes Oscar Wilde Zinzin
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Oscar Wilde Zinzin
Better to do a little well, then a great deal badly Socrates Zinzin
Work is the curse of the drinking classes Oscar Wilde Zinzin
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess Oscar Wilde Zinzin
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally W C Fields Zinzin
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me Robert Frost Zinzin
All foods are good to eat, but not all words are fit to speak. Haitian proverb Zinzin
Creativity is the art of concealing your sources. Anonymous Zinzin
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. Woody Allen [Bonbon]
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them. William Clayton [Bonbon]
Don't close your eyes for the crash; you'll miss the best part. Bruce MacInnes, Driving School instructor [Bonbon]
Als ge mannen alleen laat , is de beschaving rap weggedronken. Bonbon [Bonbon]
every century dreams the following unknown ∑Ter∑Angreal∑
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Old 2nd December 2008, 22:01   #4
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i fail @ search
jmke never fails
time to start a blog with power/superlative txt about jmke like Chuck Norris or Vin Diesel
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
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Old 2nd December 2008, 22:02   #5
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another quote database filled up
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