Apple tanks
 

Slashes prices for clever foreigners and punishes the stupid

Fruity cargo cult Apple has told the world+dog that the iPhone is tanking making its results miserable for the first time in 16 years.

Apple’s solution appears to be to prop up its weak sales by cutting prices in countries where people are intelligent enough to realise that it is not a good deal, while keeping its hyped price tags in countries, such as the US, which are stupid enough to pay up.

Job’s mob blamed its poor figures on the economic slowdown in China and diminishing demand for new iPhones.

In addition to the quarterly earnings, Apple reported revenue of $84.3 billion, a decline of 5 per cent from one year ago.

"Revenue from iPhone declined 15 per cent from the prior year, while total revenue from all other products and services grew 19 per cent," Apple said in a press release.

Analysts had estimated revenue of $83.97 billion and earnings of $4.17 per share.

"While it was disappointing to miss our revenue guidance, we manage Apple for the long term, and this quarter's results demonstrate that the underlying strength of our business runs deep and wide," said Tim Cook.

Apple's active install base of 1.4 billion is "a great testament to the satisfaction and loyalty of our customers, and it's driving our services business to new records thanks to our large and fast-growing ecosystem," Cook said.

The Tame Apple Press is having difficulty reporting the bad news. Its personal free press office the New York Times congratulated Apple on beating the analyst's expectations when the figures announced by Jobs Mob only were a cent better than the analyst average.

https://fudzilla.com/news/48037-apple-tanks