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Old 17th May 2006, 11:17   #1
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Bread: The Half-Baked Truth Revealed

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death.

5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative:

6. 99.9 percent of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread

7. 99.7 percent of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident

8. 93.1 percent of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently

9. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all the people born since 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate.

10. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day!

11. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.

12. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.

13. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

14. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 80 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

15. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

16. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.

17. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions:

1. No sale of bread to minors.

2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.

3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.

4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.

5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
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Old 17th May 2006, 11:18   #2
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Reason for posting this? In Antwerp (Belgium) a young dude killed several people; authorities "discovered" he played VIDEOgames (GTA, Doom, ...) and now they are trying to find a link.

Nice going.
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Old 17th May 2006, 12:44   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by jmke
Reason for posting this? In Antwerp (Belgium) a young dude killed several people; authorities "discovered" he played VIDEOgames (GTA, Doom, ...) and now they are trying to find a link.

Nice going.
same thing i though, it's ridiculous. Have you ever read the articles about it in the newspaper, the journalists don't even know what the games are all about. For instance, they write that GTA is all about going to a weapons store, buying some guns and then go out and shoot people! You COULD do that in GTA but, you can do nearly everything in gta!
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Old 17th May 2006, 12:48   #4
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you can also play ambulance in GTA and help people; or Taxi driver and yell to people in a foreign language; or have a ball and amuse yourself in your car with a virtual 3D model of a girl.

in the news they showed Quake 2 footage to demonstrate violence in games.


Quake 2 doesn't feature any HUMANs to shoot. and it's no longer for sale in shops.
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Old 17th May 2006, 12:54   #5
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there was however a welcome change on the newspaper page. They asked a psychologist about it, who replied that there is probably no link with the game. He also said that you might even interpret it the other way around, there might be less things happening like this because people can blow of some steam in these games.
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Old 17th May 2006, 13:13   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by GIBSON
, there might be less things happening like this because people can blow of some steam in these games.
that's not true either...
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Old 17th May 2006, 14:14   #7
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well, it probably won't stop people like that guy from doing such awful things, but i do believe it can help people vent their anger a bit. I am however strongly opposed to games like manhunt, that takes it way over the top. Developers should know where the line is.
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Old 17th May 2006, 14:21   #8
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where is the line? headshot in Brothers in Arms 3 where you see his head explode and brain pieces fall to the ground?
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Old 17th May 2006, 15:09   #9
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of course there is always (and will always) be a zone in between, but i think that it's safe to say that manhunt crossed that zone
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Old 17th May 2006, 15:10   #10
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not more so than any recently released World War game in my humble opinion
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