fun ways to boost ur post-number - Page 199

Bosw8er · 24th January 2006, 10:14

http://www.getshuked.com/columns/2005/sucide.html
http://www.artworksmontana.com/pages...ams-Birds.html
random garfield http://www.cs.washington.edu/homes/natetrue/gar.html

jmke · 25th January 2006, 01:27

Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone
Confucius say, man who do business in whore house get jerked around
Confucius say, baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk
Confucius say, panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left
Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night
Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
Confucius say, if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient
Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly
Confucius say, better to be pissed off than pissed on
Confucius say, man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long
Confucius say, couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week
Confucius say, woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts
Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired
Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted
Confucius say, man with tool in woman's mouth not necessarily dentist
Confucius say, man who make love on side of hill not on level
Confucius say, sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel
Confucius say, man with tight trousers is pressing his luck
Confucius say, man who stand on toilet high on pot
Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts
Confucius say, man who sleep in bed of nails is holy
Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people
Confucius say, man who put pea in soup very unclean
Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok
Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand
Confucius say, man who fishes in another woman's well, often catches crab
Confucius say, to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better
Confucius say, squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts
Confucius say, butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders
Confucius say, man who live in glass house, should change in basement
Confucius say, man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face
Confucius say, man with big mouth beware of foot
Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew
Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up
Confucius say, man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
Confucius say, man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic
Confucius say, house without bathroom is uncanny
Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
Confucius say, man who sits on stool smells like ****
Confucius say, man who throws dirt is losing ground
Confucius say, woman who go to man's apartment for snack, get titbit
Confucius say, man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth
Confucius say, man who get kicked in testicles, left holding the bag
Confucius say, man who kisses girl's behind, get crack in face
Confucius say, girl who ride bicycle, peddle *** all over town
Confucius say, man with penis in peanut butter jar, ****ing nuts
Confucius say, man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy
Confucius say, man trapped in pantry, have *** in jam
Confucius say, learn to masturbate - come in handy
Confucius say, girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip
Confucius say, girl who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge
Confucius say, waitress who sit on lepper's lap, keep tip
Confucius say, man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose
Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef
Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn
Confucius say, baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard
Confucius say, finding old man in dark, not hard
Confucius say, man who smoke pot, choke on handle
Confucius say, OK for **** to happen - will decompose
Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache
Confucius say, sailor who get discharged from navy, leave buddies behind
Confucius say, secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk
Confucius say, man who drive like hell, bound to get there
Confucius say, man who sit on tack, get point
Confucius say, man who put cream in tart, not always baker
Confucius say, woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring
Confucius say, sex on beach like American beer - ****ing near water
Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself
Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom
Confucius say, support bacteria - is only culture some people have
Confucius say, man with athletic finger, make broad jump
Confucius say, man who sit on upturned tack, rise above all
Confucius say, wash face in morning, neck at night
Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke
Confucius say, man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet
Confucius say, man piss in wind, wind piss back
Confucius say, man who eat pussy, do lip service
Confucius say, girl who marry detective, like to kiss ****
Confucius say, men may have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole, women have more
Confucius say, woman wearing G-string, high on crack
Confucius say, virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick
Confucius say, man who pull woman's bra strap, may get bust in face
Confucius say, woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock
Confucius say, man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self
Confucius say, man who jump through screen door, strain self
Confucius say, man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor
Confucius say, man who put face in punchbowl, get punch in nose
Confucius say, woman who sink in man's arms, soon have arms in man's sink
Confucius say, man who put cock on stove, have hot rod
Confucius say, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day
Confucius say, man who jizz in cash register come into money
Confucius say, man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time
Confucius say, man who eat too many prunes, get good run for money
Confucius say, man who finger girl having period get caught red handed
Confucius say, man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly fingers

http://mapage.noos.fr/matushansky/confucius.html

jmke · 25th January 2006, 11:17

Yeah perfume

ABC is reporting that a family in Australia recently found a large lump of ambergris, which they believe may be worth millions. It is a fascinating material, created by a sperm whale's intestine in response to irritation, probably caused by the undigested beaks of squid. The waxy mass is coughed out by the whale during a belch which is reported to be audible kilometers away, and is a putrid stinking mass. Floating in salt water and exposure to sunlight for ten years or more matures the waxy blob into a grey, sweet smelling solid which is used as a base for perfumes.

http://science.slashdot.org/article....6/01/25/061216

easypanic · 25th January 2006, 18:58

how to steal a laptop

:grin:

26th January 2006, 09:38

jmke · 26th January 2006, 11:15

hoax?

jmke · 26th January 2006, 14:38

Now I’m not keen on the taste of cock (not that I’ve tried it!) but my wife tells me how good it is. She insists that Jamaican Cock is the tastiest of all the fowl flavoured soups. She really likes the creamy texture and just gobbles it down. Its a source of protein, contains no Fat and is only 40 calories a portion. Apparently.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.d...tem=5642278016

Bosw8er · 31st January 2006, 11:13

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...tem=5661735890

Bosw8er · 31st January 2006, 12:28

? thank god i don't have that
http://www.changethatsrightnow.com/p...SDID=5364:1431
http://homepage.mac.com/pockyrevolution/Personal25.html
http://www.joyangeles.com/interview2.htm

jmke · 31st January 2006, 18:04

Worst possible quiz answers:

Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling
entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written
by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the
initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear
that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?
FAMILY FORTUNES
1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword
2) A song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon
3) Name the capital of France? F
4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell
5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar
6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital
7) What is Hitler's first name? Heil
8) A famous Scotsman? Jock
9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde.
10) A dangerous race? The Arabs
11) Something that floats in a bath? Water
12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse
13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair
14) A famous Royal? Mail
15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings
16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
17) Something a cat does? Goes to the toilet
18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate
19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on
20) Something associated with pigs? The Police
21) A sign of the Zodiac? April
22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing
23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep
24) Something you put on walls? A roof
25) Something slippery? A conman
26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish
27) A jacket potato topping? Jam
28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato
29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas
30) Something red? My sweater
RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in
Spain.
STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.
Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.
THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True
Or false?
Contestant: True?
Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV
show,
so I'll give you that.
BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel
last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four.
BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland?Ireland?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

24th January 2006, 10:14	#1981
Bosw8er Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 3,711	http://www.getshuked.com/columns/2005/sucide.html http://www.artworksmontana.com/pages...ams-Birds.html random garfield http://www.cs.washington.edu/homes/natetrue/gar.html __________________ "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

25th January 2006, 01:27	#1982
jmke Madshrimp Join Date: May 2002 Location: 7090/Belgium Posts: 79,021	Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone Confucius say, man who do business in whore house get jerked around Confucius say, baseball wrong. Man with four balls not able to walk Confucius say, panties not best thing on earth, but next to it Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night Confucius say, it take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants Confucius say, if you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient Confucius say, passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly Confucius say, better to be pissed off than pissed on Confucius say, man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long Confucius say, couple on seven day honeymoon make whole week Confucius say, woman who go camping must beware of evil intent Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted Confucius say, man with tool in woman's mouth not necessarily dentist Confucius say, man who make love on side of hill not on level Confucius say, sex is like the army, the closer you are to discharge, the better you feel Confucius say, man with tight trousers is pressing his luck Confucius say, man who stand on toilet high on pot Confucius say, man who eat crackers in bed wake up feeling crummy Confucius say, man with hand in pocket all day not crazy, just feeling nuts Confucius say, man who sleep in bed of nails is holy Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people Confucius say, man who put pea in soup very unclean Confucius say, man who run through airport turnstile backward going to Bangkok Confucius say, boy who go to sleep with sex problem on mind wake up with solution in hand Confucius say, man who fishes in another woman's well, often catches crab Confucius say, to meet girl in park is good, but to park meat in girl is better Confucius say, squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts, man lay on crack and rock nuts Confucius say, butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders Confucius say, man who live in glass house, should change in basement Confucius say, man who shoot off mouth, must expect to lose face Confucius say, man with big mouth beware of foot Confucius say, man who fart in church, sit in own pew Confucius say, woman who fly upside down have crack up Confucius say, man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion Confucius say, man under wheelbarrow playing with tool, not necessarily mechanic Confucius say, house without bathroom is uncanny Confucius say, foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ Confucius say, man who sits on stool smells like ** Confucius say, man who throws dirt is losing ground Confucius say, woman who go to man's apartment for snack, get titbit Confucius say, man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth Confucius say, man who get kicked in testicles, left holding the bag Confucius say, man who kisses girl's behind, get crack in face Confucius say, girl who ride bicycle, peddle * all over town Confucius say, man with penis in peanut butter jar, **ing nuts Confucius say, man who buy drowned cat, get wet pussy Confucius say, man trapped in pantry, have * in jam Confucius say, learn to masturbate - come in handy Confucius say, girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip Confucius say, girl who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge Confucius say, waitress who sit on lepper's lap, keep tip Confucius say, man who snort coke, get bubbles up nose Confucius say, cow with no legs, ground beef Confucius say, two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn Confucius say, baby born in car with automatic transmission, grow to become shiftless bastard Confucius say, finding old man in dark, not hard Confucius say, man who smoke pot, choke on handle Confucius say, OK for ** to happen - will decompose Confucius say, man with head on railroad track, listening for train to come, get splitting headache Confucius say, sailor who get discharged from navy, leave buddies behind Confucius say, secretary become permanent fixture, when screwed on desk Confucius say, man who drive like hell, bound to get there Confucius say, man who sit on tack, get point Confucius say, man who put cream in tart, not always baker Confucius say, woman who spend much time on bedspring, may get offspring Confucius say, sex on beach like American beer - ing near water Confucius say, man who masturbate, only screwing himself Confucius say, woman who dance wearing jock strap, have make believe ballroom Confucius say, support bacteria - is only culture some people have Confucius say, man with athletic finger, make broad jump Confucius say, man who sit on upturned tack, rise above all Confucius say, wash face in morning, neck at night Confucius say, man who have last laugh, not get joke Confucius say, man who sleep with old hen, find it better than pullet Confucius say, man piss in wind, wind piss back Confucius say, man who eat pussy, do lip service Confucius say, girl who marry detective, like to kiss ** Confucius say, men may have more hair on chest than woman, but on the whole, women have more Confucius say, woman wearing G-string, high on crack Confucius say, virgin with thimble on finger, never feel prick Confucius say, man who pull woman's bra strap, may get bust in face Confucius say, woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock Confucius say, man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self Confucius say, man who jump through screen door, strain self Confucius say, man who push piano down mine shaft, likely to get A flat minor Confucius say, man who put face in punchbowl, get punch in nose Confucius say, woman who sink in man's arms, soon have arms in man's sink Confucius say, man who put cock on stove, have hot rod Confucius say, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day Confucius say, man who jizz in cash register come into money Confucius say, man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time Confucius say, man who eat too many prunes, get good run for money Confucius say, man who finger girl having period get caught red handed Confucius say, man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with smelly fingers http://mapage.noos.fr/matushansky/confucius.html __________________

25th January 2006, 11:17	#1983
jmke Madshrimp Join Date: May 2002 Location: 7090/Belgium Posts: 79,021	Yeah perfume ABC is reporting that a family in Australia recently found a large lump of ambergris, which they believe may be worth millions. It is a fascinating material, created by a sperm whale's intestine in response to irritation, probably caused by the undigested beaks of squid. The waxy mass is coughed out by the whale during a belch which is reported to be audible kilometers away, and is a putrid stinking mass. Floating in salt water and exposure to sunlight for ten years or more matures the waxy blob into a grey, sweet smelling solid which is used as a base for perfumes. http://science.slashdot.org/article....6/01/25/061216 __________________

25th January 2006, 18:58	#1984
easypanic Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,823	how to steal a laptop :grin: __________________ \|^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\\|\|____ \|....The BEER TRUCK.... \|\|\|\|'""\|""°\_,__ \|___Just for You___l\|\|__\|__\|___\|) _____\| \|(@)(@)""""""""""""\|(@)(@)**\|(@)\|

26th January 2006, 11:15	#1986
jmke Madshrimp Join Date: May 2002 Location: 7090/Belgium Posts: 79,021	hoax? __________________

26th January 2006, 14:38	#1987
jmke Madshrimp Join Date: May 2002 Location: 7090/Belgium Posts: 79,021	Now I’m not keen on the taste of cock (not that I’ve tried it!) but my wife tells me how good it is. She insists that Jamaican Cock is the tastiest of all the fowl flavoured soups. She really likes the creamy texture and just gobbles it down. Its a source of protein, contains no Fat and is only 40 calories a portion. Apparently. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.d...tem=5642278016 __________________

31st January 2006, 11:13	#1988
Bosw8er Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 3,711	http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...tem=5661735890 __________________ "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

31st January 2006, 12:28	#1989
Bosw8er Member Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 3,711	? thank god i don't have that http://www.changethatsrightnow.com/p...SDID=5364:1431 http://homepage.mac.com/pockyrevolution/Personal25.html http://www.joyangeles.com/interview2.htm __________________ "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."

31st January 2006, 18:04	#1990
jmke Madshrimp Join Date: May 2002 Location: 7090/Belgium Posts: 79,021	Worst possible quiz answers: Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway. Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? Contestant: Bombay. Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? Contestant: Crocodiles. Robinson: Wh...? Contestant (interrupting): Pass! Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? Contestant: Chocolate salesmen. Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...? Contestant: (long pause) Joe? NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.? Contestant: William Shakespeare. CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna? Caller: Japan. Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again. Caller: Er... Mexico? FAMILY FORTUNES 1) Something a blind man might use? A Sword 2) A song with the word Moon in the title? Blue Suede Moon 3) Name the capital of France? F 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? Naomi Campbell 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? A burglar 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? Opposite the Dental Hospital 7) What is Hitler's first name? Heil 8) A famous Scotsman? Jock 9) Some famous brothers? Bonnie and Clyde. 10) A dangerous race? The Arabs 11) Something that floats in a bath? Water 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? A horse 13) Something you wear on a beach? A deckchair 14) A famous Royal? Mail 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? A bicycle with wings 16) A famous bridge? The Bridge Over Troubled Waters 17) Something a cat does? Goes to the toilet 18) Something you do in the bathroom? Decorate 19) A method of securing your home? Put the kettle on 20) Something associated with pigs? The Police 21) A sign of the Zodiac? April 22) Something people might be allergic to? Skiing 23) Something you do before you go to bed? Sleep 24) Something you put on walls? A roof 25) Something slippery? A conman 26) A kind of ache? A fillet of fish 27) A jacket potato topping? Jam 28) A food that can be brown or white? A potato 29) Something sold by gypsies? Bananas 30) Something red? My sweater RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2 Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube? Contestant: India. Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway? Contestant: Espresso. Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney. Contestant: Sydney. THIS MORNING Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True Or false? Contestant: True? Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show, so I'll give you that. BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? Contestant: Four. BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er... Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor... Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run... Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I... Contestant: Walked? DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland?Ireland? Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No. __________________

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26th January 2006, 09:38	#1985
SineFool Posts: n/a