Why this Linux user is now using Windows 3.1

Before we begin, let me just say that what you are about to read is, for lack of a better word, ridiculous. I know it is ridiculous. It is almost boundless in its ridiculousness. But I am going to write these words anyway.

This is the story of how a Linux user...switched to Windows 3.1. At least in part.

You read that right. Windows 3.1. Yes. That Windows 3.1. The 16-bit one that came out in 1992...over 20 years ago. Many of you will replay, "WHY?!?! Are you INSANE?!?!" And that would be a perfectly valid and warranted reply, punctuation and all.